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Empathy

Empathy, as practiced in NVC, is sometimes called "deep listening". It involves the listener connecting with the essential core of an individual's experience and offering a kindly energy of presence. The empathy process offered by NVC is often referred to as "giving empathy." It is more accurately a procedure that supports the development of true empathy.

This process involves listening for, and sometimes guiding the other person towards describing:

1. Observations as to what happened,
2. Feelings evoked, sometimes guessing what feelings might be, if the other is (for example) in blame mode,
3. Needs both met and unmet, although the unmet needs are most likely to be provoking the feelings involved

(Note: in Empathy mode, the "Request" step for the OFNR model is omitted.)

The empathy process for another may be conducted out loud, as an interaction with that person, or silently, as an inner approach to awareness of that person's experience.

Empathy brings about understanding of the needs of the one "receiving" empathy, and also relieves emotional charge. Emotional charge is often uncomfortable and is a barrier to being able to hear others clearly and respond in a flexible fashion. Thus, empathy may be used to relieve distress and increase understanding and readiness for hearing.
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